Spokane Real Estate Voice

Why I dive for Cats and you should too!

It was a cold and crisp fall day. The sky was bright blue and the deciduos trees were vibrant with various shades of orange and red. The ground was slightly frozen and I knew soon the leaves would all be gone, and winter would inevitably be here.

As I prepared for my open house, I made a mental note of how good I looked in my brand new Ann Klien suit.  I carefully pulled on my new Nordstrom hose, and the heels I only wear when I want to make a first impression. I made my open house checklist: Professional attire: check, Signs for schlepping: check, sign in book: check, flyers and cards :check, 16oz double Starbucks latte to avoid caffiene withdrawels in the 3 hours,: check.

I was looking forward to meeting some fresh new prospects as I rounded the corner of this distinguished neighborhood.

As always, I arrived 15 minutes early to greet my seller as they were leaving. She was hurried, but pleasant. She said,  “ I only have one thing to tell you: DON’T LET THE CAT GET OUTSIDE OR YOU ARE FIRED”.

Alrighty then…

Your royal highness Sophie was “ locked” in the laundry room with all of her earthly needs met and there was a large note on the door. “ DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR OR LET THE CAT OUT!” It was quite the feline executive suite I might add, including a kitty climbing gym, food, water, and a nice soft beddy bye.

As the open house guests began to pour in, I enjoyed meeting several new people and showing them the many features of this high end home. One guest was a neighbor who happened to leave me her phone number because she had relatives moving to town.

As I meandered through the house, I landed in the living room with a particularly slick looking couple asking probing questions about the house. There were a half dozen people coming and going.  As we were looking through the large picture windows observing the newly landscaped front yard, I noticed- in horror-… her majesty frolicking in the grass. In mid sentence, I said…” EXCUSE ME, I have a little issue to address…ummm… BRB!”

At first I went to the laundry room, and you guessed it: DOOR WIDE OPEN NO KITTY.

Bounding through the front door nearly trampling the innocent newcomers who must have noted the crazed look on my face, I lunged after the cat and was flat on my stomach on the grass.( The ground was cold and hard, but the grass was still green enough to stain my new skirt.) She sensed my on coming nervous breakdown, and scampered off into the bushes bordering the neighbors house.

I quite literally DOVE into the bushes, while several open house lookers were gazing out the front window at me. With my derriere in mid air, I attempted to grasp the cat while the bush put a semi permanent scar across my left cheek bone, and my pewter hose were now accented with shades of brown on both knees.  Although I am a church going Christian, I do recall mumbling a few four letter words, and none of them were "meow".

She ran. I now had a much more serious problem. I ran into the house and called the neighbor.

Umm…can you bring a search party over and help me find the missing cat? I am really in a bind, and you see I have people roaming around wondering if I am a nutcase and I need to catch this cat or I am in big trouble. She said she and her two boys would be right over. With the open house onlookers still wondering what was going on, we began to run around the yard yelling “ Here kitty kitty…”

A stroke of genius flashed into my mind…TUNA!

I ran into the kitchen with my semi bloody, muddy new look- and began to search the cupboards for tuna.

BINGO. Now I need to find the can opener. Rifling through the drawers, more people were coming and going, and the slick couple were still admiring the slate fireplace.

Breathless, I ran back outside with the tuna - nearly trampling the next set of open house lookers. Wordless- the neighbor boy pointed to the picture windows, and gawking at us from inside the house, were the slicks, a few others, and… you guessed it…the cat.

You have GOT to be kidding me.

The neighbor said…"Oh, yes- there is a dead ringer for miss Sophie in the neighborhood. Her suitor, who often admires her from afar." Those words “ dead ringer” took on a new meaning as I had a momentary lapse of sanity and visualized myself ringing the royal neck of the great Sophie.

Crisis averted.

With what I am not sure is humility or humiliation, I went back into the house, now smelling of the tuna that was dripping down my arms because I did not have time to drain it. How attractive I must have looked and smelled while apologizing to the slicks. (oh duh toilet albacore...a new fragrance?)

I put the cat back in the laundry room and put a CHAIR in front of the door. At that point I am sure the open house guests wondered if I was the one who should be locked in there!

Pulling myself together, I continued greeting people as if nothing happened.

You see, there are many hazards of this business and it never ceases to amaze me what is around the corner. It is actually one thing that endears me to real estate. I am never bored.

I truly care about what is important to my clients- and yes- I dive for cats and so should YOU!

(PS YES this is a true story!)

I got this e-mail from a friend this morning, and I don't doubt that this actually happened recently!

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Part of rebuilding New Orleans (after Katrina) often caused residents to be challenged with the task of tracing titles to their homes... back potentially hundreds of years. With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership. Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client:
 
You have to love this lawyer ...
 
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client.. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being offered as collateral. It took the lawyer three months to track down the full title to the property which dated back to 1803.  After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.
 
(Actual reply from FHA):
 
"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."
 
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
 
(Actual response):
 
"Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 206 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the United States from France, in 1803 the year of origin identified in our application.  For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Queen Isabella. The good Queen Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus's expedition...Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it, and the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory.
 
Now, may we have our *#!@#! loan?"
 
The loan was immediately approved.

I am going to change the name of the guilty because some of these stories are just TOO fuuny!

I am hoping you will share with us YOUR most embarrassing moment as a Realtor! These are just a few from my office ( and me!)

• A guy in my office was showing a home we had toured earlier that day as an office. He was especially impressed with the master suite and could not get ahold of his clients fast enough to see this fabulous home. He left a message with the seller as indicated in the MLS, and was beaming when he was showing the great features of this custom home. As they walked down the hallway to the Master, he said" You are not going to believe your eyes!" ...Swung the door wide open and...your guessed it. Two teenagers who were obviously skipping school were sharing a little "afternoon delight". Mortified the naked teens began to scream bloody murder thinking it was some kind of home invasion. The clients were screaming, the Realtor began to laugh hysterically. BUSTED. He now has a habit of KNOCKING on every door he encounters -even in vacant homes. Imagine the post traumatic stress for everyone involved!
• I was new in the business. I got a call to show a million dollar home. I was super nervous! I offered to pick up the clients at their hotel. After viewing the home, they said they had to get moving because he was speaking at a conference at the hotel. OH DREAD. I had locked my keys in the car. I was so embarrassed. I had to track down my husband who was less than amused to fetch our extra keys and bring them to me while I was stuck making small talk in the freezing cold with these people, who I never heard from again!
• Dan is a distinguished fellow. He was showing upscale homes, when he told his clients he needed to use the bathroom and they could wait in the car. They didn't have the keys, so when he came out he said" Sorry to keep you waiting"  He then realized Mr. Buyer was looking down at his feet. He glanced down to see a 4ft trail of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of his shoe. I mean, we all know it, and there is even a book out for toddlers that is called " Everybody Poops" but how embarrassing!!!!!!!
• My assocociate is a long time Realtor.  He has some great stories and this is much better told in person, but he met with some sellers and, well, there home reeked of ciggy smoke. As he sat down to explain the market analysis he was fearing they might not like the valuation, so he cracked a joke. The seller started laughing so hard he began wheezing, and that made my associate laugh- and then the sellers wife started laughing and then the BOTH began to COUGH and my associate was losing it and he looked down (TRUE STORY) and the DOG was coughing. This struck him so funny, because it was a home full of hacking smokers, and now the dog was coughing that he could barely regain control. He realized at this point that this was no longer funny but he could not stop laughing. Eventually they all quited down, and he resumed his speech about the house. He got the listing, and it eventually sold.

I bet you have a few good ones too! Do tell...

LOL